To Struggle or to Thrive

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Are you going to be a struggler, or a thriver?

One of the hard things about starting this blog was trying to figure out how I was going to present myself to you all. Who was I going to be? What would my voice sound like? So, I just started writing. I thought as I wrote, it would become clear who this Underachieving Churchgirl was, what she would care about, what her voice would sound like, and what her purpose would be in blogging.

I’m happy with the name I have chosen for myself, because it does describe me. Having grown up going to church, not going to church always feels wrong. And when I do go to church, within minutes it becomes clear there is more I could be doing to foster spiritual growth on my own faith-journey, to join in with my family to lift them up, and to serve others. I always feel I am underachieving. In everything.

Just a few days ago I looked at my 8-year old son and thought, good job, mom. He’s a good boy. You are doing a good job. Then he hits me with his existential crisis in which he confesses he may not believe that God exists and he is going to have be shown how it is the Bible is true. Oh, ok. My kid is an atheist now. Clearly, I blew it.

I don’t even know what to say about my marriage except that my husband is lucky if I remember he exists. I get so busy in my own thoughts and my own to-do lists and my friends and mom stuff, not to mention Facebook, I tend to forget all about him. I know. Terrible.

Regarding the housewife part of my life, our Lucky Charms-strewn carpets are lucky if they see the bottom of a vacuum cleaner 3 times a year.

Spiritually, I usually neglect quiet time with Jesus. I read my Bible at Bible study on Wednesday mornings. I pray when I’m desperate, and worship to the radio as I drive in my car.

But sometimes, I get something right. I achieve.

Today I achieved clarity by clicking on a sermon I had missed at church a few weeks ago. I listened to it while I ate my lunch.

It was about reaching a tipping point in your life, when “enough is enough” and you know it’s time to make a change. There’s a thing—or things—you are having a sort of “standoff” with in your life. Well, in mine. Two things I can think of right off the bat. Two things I lay in bed weeping about and feeling powerless to change late last night before I nodded off to sleep: My son’s need for instruction in the ways of God, and one other thing which I will keep to myself.

Am I going to be a struggler, or a thriver?

When David volunteered himself to take care of the nuisance Goliath, that giant didn’t stand a chance. In his moment of decision, David put aside any fear or self-interest or mistrust in God’s ability or willingness to act. It wasn’t about David. It was about God and His working out His kingdom purposes in the world through His people.

My family troubles aren’t about me. Nothing is about me! It’s all about our good God and His awesome plan to bring overcoming and healing and light to our confused, sick, needy world through our family. (In all of our underachieving glory!)

David didn’t see a giant that would end the whole momentous thing rolling forward through the ages… He saw a temporary, easily-dispatched obstacle through which God’s purposes for mankind would plow; and rather than have a standoff with it for 40 days or cry himself to sleep, he set out to do God’s Big Picture work. When God’s people do that, the obstacles in their lives get it square between the eyes.

So, who is Underachieving Churchgirl? She’s no churchmouse, that’s for sure. Yes, she struggles. A lot. But her identity will not be that of a struggler. 

Today I achieved because I chose to listen. Today I see that through God, I will thrive, and so will His purposes through me.

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