Diary of an Underachieving Churchgirl

How This Churchgirl Became Churchgirl Part 1 My first memory of church is of a two-year old me sitting on my mother’s lap in the “cry area” to the side of our local catholic church. Church was very echoe-y. It was very reverant. It was a holy place. And I was a terror. My mom wore this beautiful, shiny string of pearls, and I loved the way they felt in my little fingers. I pulled the string of pearls, and all of a sudden, there in the reverent, catholic, holy silence there were 5 million pearls dropping on the shiny hard floor and bouncing and bouncing—so much noise! And I did it! And my mother was absolutely mortified! Oh, the power! But we were not excommunicated, thank God. I grew up in that precious, holy church, and every Sunday my mom would hold my hand in the line to take communion and the priest (we called him “father something”) would place a thin shining wafer on my mother’s tongue and say “the body of Christ,” and she would say, “amen.” Then the priest woul...

I loved reading Jordan Kauflin’s “How Do You Prepare for Sunday?” post over at Desiring God today. Here’s the gist of it: Are you a spectator at church? Do you go mainly to watch, not participate? Do you go with the expectation that everyone needs to make sure you have a good time? Do you expect to be served? Or, are you a church worker-bee? Do you always miss the actual gathering time because you’re stuck in children’s ministry or ushering or setting up or greeting? Are you thinking about what you need to do rather than anticipating how God might meet you? (     (Maybe you're like me, a sort of “church-mouse,” sneaking in a little late to avoid the intimidating social time before service, finding a seat near the back, and escaping right away to my car when it’s over. Whew! This anxious introvert just survived another Sunday morning, sweaty-palmed and heart-pounding.)       We all have a “church persona.” Each of us does what we have to do t...

(Because there’s a lot at stake here. Namely, what people will think of you.) Generally speaking, in worldly circles, church-going types are suspected of being vacuous oddballs. In addition, if you go to church it is assumed that you also believe things like homosexuality and abortion are sinful practices, ideas widely held to be to be severely old-fashioned and egregiously immoral. So church-goers strike out on two levels: 1) they are regarded as ignoramuses who need to get an education (Darwin, duh, Science, duh), and 2) on the issues of homosexuality and abortion in particular, they are perceived to be both unfair, intolerant haters who think it is ok for society to discriminate against a person for his sexual orientation (civil rights, duh), and unfeeling, uncaring judgers for making poor women who exercise their right to choose what is best for their own health out to be murderers (it’s my body, duh). And these are just a few of the kinds of things people will t...

And this is where the Church Lady comes in. I earned the ugly nickname for commenting on a newspaper article about a poor kid who nobody noticed was deaf until it was too late to do anything about.   I was mad, and I wrote that maybe the problem isn’t that we aren’t “investing” enough in social programs that make sure these poor kids don’t fall through the cracks. Maybe the problem is we just don’t get our butts to church on Sundays like we should, I wrote. We would all be better people if we did. You can see where my fellow commenter could make the Dana Carvey connection.   But what the heck kind of a connection was I making? The connection I was attempting to make was this: When people go to church, there’s a huge ripple effect. Everyone benefits. Kids benefit when grown-ups commit to participating in something bigger than their own little worlds. Doing church provides a way for people to open up their eyes to others, to join in community and together do work...

A little something I stole from Joyce Meyer: I will be kind and show mercy. Humility is the attitude God requires of me. Never am I to view myself as better than anyone. I will give to God what He requires, which is to do what is just, love mercy and kindness, and walk humbly with Him. You see, Underachieving Churchgirl harbors within herself an Overbearing Church Lady. Seriously, someone once called me Church Lady when I wrote some not very nice things online. I regretted writing those not very nice things. I don’t want to ever have that feeling again. So fellow underachievers, let us resolve therefore to be kind and show mercy here, to practice humility, and remember we must answer to God for the things we say to one another. Let us do what is just, let us love mercy and kindness, and let us strive to walk humbly with God, however imperfectly we do it. No Church Ladies here please!