Diary of an Underachieving Churchgirl

My Bible study leader wonders aloud if our American lives were more difficult, would we then as a culture feel a greater need for God, and therefore would we be a more God-centered, God-seeking, God-honoring people? I stare at her in disbelief. Because certainly we suffer. Certainly we feel our need for God. We may not feel our need due to empty pantries or barren water faucets or incurable illness or war, as so many in our world do, but God in His infinite kindness allows we first worlders  to feel our great lack-- our frailty-- in other ways. Doesn't He? Do you suffer?  I do. Americans are depressed. We're sad. We're hopeless. We kill ourselves. We cut ourselves. We take pills. We see therapists and counselors. We want the pain to go away. The pain of just existing. We lie awake at night, anxiety coursing through our bodies. We are powerless to stop the terrible feelings of foreboding, panic, fear, and fog that blanket our brains and sink their claws ...

I don’t know where to begin. I was born into a crazy family but from the first I knew God existed and that He loved me. When my parents told me I could seal the deal and enter into relationship with God, that my sins would be forgiven and my life would be made new, if I believed Jesus Christ was God’s Son who came to earth and paid the price for my ransom, I knew in my knower that this was right. So I prayed. I asked Jesus to forgive my sins. I accepted Him into my heart as my Savior and as my Lord. And I was born again and made new. I was 7 years old, the age the kiddo is now. Then, we were baptized as a family. It was all very emotional. We cried a lot, tears of joy and thanksgiving and renewal and change.   I think we all understood that this was a miraculous God-thing, and we were ever so grateful to God for having given us the chance to hear the Good News of His love for us, and receive His free gift, and enter in to this life of faith that we really knew nothing abou...