My Niece Asked Me For My Testimony, So Here It Is

I don’t know where to begin. I was born into a crazy family but from the first I knew God existed and that He loved me. When my parents told me I could seal the deal and enter into relationship with God, that my sins would be forgiven and my life would be made new, if I believed Jesus Christ was God’s Son who came to earth and paid the price for my ransom, I knew in my knower that this was right. So I prayed. I asked Jesus to forgive my sins. I accepted Him into my heart as my Savior and as my Lord. And I was born again and made new. I was 7 years old, the age the kiddo is now.

Then, we were baptized as a family. It was all very emotional. We cried a lot, tears of joy and thanksgiving and renewal and change.  I think we all understood that this was a miraculous God-thing, and we were ever so grateful to God for having given us the chance to hear the Good News of His love for us, and receive His free gift, and enter in to this life of faith that we really knew nothing about, but we knew God had us and He wouldn’t let go of us. We knew it would be an adventure. We knew we were O.K. with God. It was really a Spirit-drenched time in our home.

We went to church a lot because we loved it. Sunday mornings, of course, sometimes Sunday evenings, and Wednesday evenings. My parents felt strongly they were to attend The Church On The Way in Van Nuys, CA. Pastor Jack Hayford was the senior pastor of that congregation at that time. He just turned 80 years old recently, and we all still think of him as a father-teacher to us in the beginning time of our family’s faith journey. Since then, I have always regarded my pastor—whoever he may be at different times in my life—as my shepherd. I think it’s important to find a good man of God who is right in his motivations and heart for leading a church, and submit to his loving authority in my life. There have been only a few, but right now that man is Pastor Art Lenon of The Rock Church here in Sparks, NV, a non-denominational, non-traditional, kinda kooky but awesome church that I love. When I had a couple of bumps in the road and I needed help, I met with my pastor and his wife on several occasions, and once I met with my pastor and 3 elders, also men who love God and who love the sheep. Now I have my pastor’s email address and I can communicate with him anytime if I have a hardship, a question, or if I just want to thank him for a great word on Sunday. To me, Jesus and my church family are lifelines. I have to have both in order to live this life of faith.

It hasn’t been easy. In fact, there have been times in my life that were downright confusing, depressing, desperate, and hopeless. But our Father has always been right here for me, helping me along. I see now that all along my God has been making my way smooth before me, walking along beside me, sometimes carrying me, guarding me behind and going before me. Over the years I have learned I can trust Him always to see me through. I know now He is all I need, because in Him all my needs are met and then some.

I am the quintessential underachiever. I don’t read my Bible like I should. But there have been times when the Psalms and the letters in the back of the New Testament have spoken to the deep places of my spirit and breathed life and knowledge and understanding into me like no other book on this earth. I don’t go to church as often as I would like, either. But that’s O.K. I attend a mid-week Bible study with a few women who have become dear friends to me—that lifeline thing I wrote about above—and it waters my faith like a plant, and I am slowly growing and continue to learn more all the time. The huge Bible can be overwhelming, but really it’s a simple story. As you become familiar with it, you’ll begin to see that.

I was a rager from about 17 to 23. I went to public high school and the tempatations for trouble and fun were just too great. I became obsessed with my boyfriend. I was lost. At 23 I found myself depressed and clueless about what to do. I started going back to church with my parents. At that time they were attending Living Word Christian Fellowship in Newbury Park, CA. Pastor John Tolle was the senior pastor. I was living at home and went with them to church to make them happy. But my heart was weeping for God. I was afraid God would ask me to break off my relationship with my boyfriend, a relationship I had come to utterly depend on. I thought I would die without him. I started going to the college/career group just to kind of stick my toe in.

Then I don’t know what happened, all of a sudden I became brave and I suddenly had the strength to end my relationship. I threw myself into the arms of God. Mom and I joined the choir. I wanted to be at church every possible moment. I went to every class, did every activity. I sat on my bed at night and read the Psalms. At that time, God was my comfort and my healer. I felt like the prodigal son.

I met my husband at that church, and we were married in that church. The rest is history. I’d like to say happily ever after but that’s just not true. I have had things that I have needed to learn. I have had things within myself that God has worked on to change. I have needed to grow strong. And God has been faithful to teach me, grow me, coach me, and help me. And I still cling to Him like I did when I was 7. Jesus told the people that they should come to God as little children. No guile, no pride, no ulterior motives or just going through the motions—but with a pure heart, clean motives, humility, awareness of our wretched condition without Him and our desperate need for Him, and authentic sincerity in our supplications to Him. Little children depend on their families to keep them safe, to see to their needs, to teach them what they need to know to get along in the world, to always be there for them to cheer them on, and to provide help when they need it. In the same way, we depend on God.

This has been really good for me, my niece. After all these years, I forget all that God has done for me. Thank you for asking me for my testimony.